


Constant Conversations

by owltype



Series: Hope for the Hopeless [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Boys Hugging, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Friendly, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve and Tony Actually Talk, Tony Friendly, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8477887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owltype/pseuds/owltype
Summary: “How do we always wind up here?” Steve asks.Tony’s breath catches in his throat. “Because we’re idiots,” he answers, his voice soft, afraid that if he speaks any louder it’ll shatter this tender moment between them.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Constant Conversations (перевод)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439187) by [sverhanutaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sverhanutaya/pseuds/sverhanutaya)



> This part took a little longer for me to hammer out. The boys just were not cooperating! Also, I didn't want to make this fic too dialogue heavy. It's really nice for them to be able to hash things out, of course, but that's not what I wanted to focus on. I just wanted them to reconcile, at least a little bit.
> 
> ...Okay, you got me. I really just wanted an excuse to make them kiss.

Steve has a strange look on his face like he’s trying to pull the right words from his brain and make himself speak them. Tony knows this look, feels it in the depths of his soul, as he’s no stranger to emotional constipation. He’s not used to seeing that look on Steve’s face, though. Steve had always seemed like he had a good handle on his emotions, like he always knew what to say in any situation, like he was wise beyond his years. And why not? Technically, the man was almost one-hundred.

Until Barnes had shown up, anyway. It had all gone downhill from there, and the more Tony saw of Steve, the more he acted like the twenty-something-year-old he actually is. Tony remembers himself at that age, always feeling like he was floundering to find a place,  _his_ place, in the world. Steve was the same way. It’s not something Tony ever thought of much, but now, he realizes just how young Steve really is.

“Just talk me through it, Cap,” Tony says. He’s sitting curled up in a plush armchair, an old quilt wrapped around his shoulders, and a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. It’s the most relaxed he’s felt in a long time.

Steve opens his mouth to speak, closes it again. The expression worsens. “Would it piss you off if I say I don’t even know anymore?” Steve asks sheepishly.

Tony sets his coffee aside. He hums thoughtfully, mulling the question over. “A month ago, probably. I might’ve even punched you.”

“If you had, maybe it would’ve knocked some sense into me,” Steve says.

“Tried that,” Tony points out. “Failed spectacularly.”

“True,” Steve says slowly. “Well, I always have been hard-headed. Bucky used to say-” he stops short. “Sorry.”

Tony looks away from the sadness in Steve’s eyes. Hearing Barnes’ name, even thinking of the man still does something funny to Tony’s insides. He hasn’t completely sorted out how he feels about what happened. There’s anger still, simmering hot beneath the surface, always ready to lash out and burn. He’s trying to ignore it, though, knows it won’t do any good to let the beast rage. He’s just so goddamn tired of fighting all the time. Eventually, something has to give.

Objectively, he knows Barnes can’t be held accountable for the crimes he committed, as it wasn’t really he who committed them. HYDRA had turned him into nothing more than a puppet. Still, there is a part of him, a sad little voice crying out in the deepest and darkest part of his soul, that wants to do to Barnes what Barnes did to his parents.

Then he remembers the tremor in Barnes’ voice when he’d said _I remember ALL of them_. Tony had been unimpressed then, but now, when he replays those words in his mind, they send a shock through him. Barnes was not cognizant of his actions as The Winter Soldier–even if he had been, he probably wouldn’t, or couldn’t have cared. But as James Buchanan Barnes, as Bucky, all those deaths weigh heavy on his shoulders. On his soul.

It is too heavy a cross to bear for one man. Tony knows this. Oh, God, does he know this.

“I’m sorry I tried to kill your friend,” Tony says quietly as he turns to look at Steve again. “That was not a very nice thing to do.”

Steve guffaws. It’s an ugly sound, one born of pain and sadness. “Not a nice thing to—Tony, he killed your parents!”

“I know,” Tony says with a little shrug. “But did he? And anyway, whatever happened to “This isn’t gonna change what happened.””

Steve shakes his head angrily. “Don’t do that. How can you be so blasé about this?”

“Because, Steve,” Tony says, and he rises from his chair to pace agitatedly across the floor. “I have to be. Unless you want me to go back to VENGEANCE AND MURDER?”

“No,” Steve says quietly, emphatically, also rising from his chair. He strides across the floor toward Tony to grip him tightly by the elbows, shaking him a little. “I never want to see that Tony again.”

Tony can’t hide his smug smile. “Yeah, because that Tony could and did kick your ass.” 

Steve concedes the point with a little tilt of his head and a small smile. Then he’s frowning again. “I should have told you,” he says, his voice sad. “I should have told you a lot of things.”

“Yeah,” Tony says simply. There are no other words he can say in this instance. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. What does it matter anymore?

Steve sighs. His hands travel down from Tony’s elbows to his wrists. He brushes his thumbs across the skin there, tripping over the sharp ridge of Tony’s bones. He bends to run his lips across Tony’s healed knuckles, the skin new and pink and raw. Tony shivers at the touch.

“How do we always wind up here?” Steve asks.

Tony’s breath catches in his throat. “Because we’re idiots,” he answers, his voice soft, afraid that if he speaks any louder it’ll shatter this tender moment between them.

“Yeah,” Steve sighs out, his breath washing over Tony’s skin and leaving gooseflesh in its wake. “What are we going to do about that?”

“Just-” Tony sucks in some air, wills his body to stop shaking. “Don’t leave me. Us. We’re supposed to be a team. _A family_.”

Steve stands again to his full height and pulls Tony into a tight hug. “I didn’t want you to think I was choosing Bucky over you,” he says fervently into Tony’s hair. “I just wanted to-”

Tony silences Steve with a chaste kiss. “I know, Steve,” he says when he pulls back. “It’s okay.”

Steve smiles then and it’s beatific, hitting Tony right in the chest and taking his breath away. They lean into each other and share another simple kiss, just a brushing together of lips, really. It’s enough for now, though, and it unravels something inside Tony. He sags against Steve as all of the fight goes out of his body.

Yeah, they’ll be okay.


End file.
